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1.
"Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument
when
they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue
any
longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use
"fine"
to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one
of
those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes"
This is half an
hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
your football
game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so women feel that
it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means
something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has
of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards.
"Nothing" usually signifies
an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and end with the word
"Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT
permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for
permission, the
result will be the woman will get upset over
"Nothing" and you'll
have a "five-minute" discussion that will
end with the word
"Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
This is NOT
permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do
what you want
because I don't care." You will get a raised
eyebrow "Go Ahead" in
just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will
talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools
off.
6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word,
but is still often a verbal
statement. Very frequently
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are a
complete idiot and wonders why she
is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over
"Nothing!."
7. "Soft
Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one
of the few things that some men actually understand. It
means
she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move
or
breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit
longer.
8. "Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement --
is trouble. Example;
"Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to
him about what you
were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a
statement,
run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell
you that she
is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out
the window,
but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two
days. "Oh
as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you
are caught
in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or
you will get a
raised eyebrows "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts
so
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about
them.
9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most
dangerous statements that a woman
can say to a man. "That's Okay" means
that she wants to think
long and hard before deciding what the
penalty will be for
whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is
often used with the
word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised
eyebrow "Go
Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are
in for
some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please
Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is
giving you
the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have
done.
In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more
trouble.
If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay."
11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you.
Don't faint and don't look for
hidden meaning. Just say "you're
welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is
dramatically different from "Thanks." A
woman will say "Thanks A
Lot" when she is really ticked off
at you. It is usually followed by
the "Loud Sigh." This signifies
that you have hurt her in some
callous way. Be careful not to
ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell
you "Nothing."
Other words
and actions to keep in mind.
No
explanation necessary.
13.
"Later"
14.
Walk-away
15. Silent
Treatment
16. "I'll do
it myself"
17. "We'll
talk"
18.
"Whatever"
19. "Forget
about it"
20.
"Nice"
21. "If
that's what you want"
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