TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR
 Pass My Shotgun
 Psychotic Mood Shift
 Perpetual Munching Spree
 Puffy Mid-Section
 People Make Me Sick
 Provide Me with Sweets
 Pardon My Sobbing
 Pimples May Surface
 Pass My Sweatpants
 Pissy Mood Syndrome
 Plainly; Men Suck
 Pack My Stuff
 Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because
no one else in this  damn 
house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They
don't even care that the bulb is
BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for DAYS
before they figured it out. And, once they
figured it out, they wouldn't be
able to FIND the light bulbs despite the fact
that they've been in the SAME
CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS!!! But if they
did, by
some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER,
the chair they dragged to
stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME
SPOT!! AND
UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID
DAMN BULBS CAME IN! WHY?
BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM
THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE
HOUSE!!! - IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS
HOUSE!
  I'm sorry...what did you ask me?